


shake what's left of me

by stupidloud



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crying, Established Relationship, Fun!, I mean it, Leadership, M/M, Schrodinger's Keith, The Vlog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 08:32:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12339159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidloud/pseuds/stupidloud
Summary: Keith’s hands shook.Not enough that people thought he was on withdrawal (though the number of times people’d asked him if he was high throughout training was still, well, high) and not often enough for it to be something he went and got looked at. It was honestly just a huge fucking pain in the ass because a steady grip was all the rage for swordsmen.✦a continuation to the vlog because i love being cliche.





	shake what's left of me

**Author's Note:**

> its sarcasm. also question: why do I write so much keith now? idk. let's say i do it on purpose 'cause it's my boy's birth month. my mental health is Plummeting??? it got good for two (2) seconds before Returning to Regularly Scheduled Program. just like..... @ me Depression. I'm still hilarious tho, so enjoy.
> 
> Title from Neptune by Sleeping At Last.

Keith’s hands shook.

Not enough that people thought he was on withdrawal (though the number of times people’d asked him if he was high throughout training was still, well, high) and not often enough for it to be something he went and got looked at. It was honestly just a huge fucking pain in the ass because a steady grip was all the rage for swordsmen and pilots.

Wasn’t a muscular problem. Nothing with his nerves. They had medical evaluations in the Garrison and he came up with nothing but mild lactose intolerance. They shook only when he was too distracted to focus on them.

They shook when he tightened them into fists and clocked Iverson the day after the Holts and Shiro went missing. They shook on the way to the BoM base. They shook when Black powered up around him. They shook when he brought his hand up to press his forehead to Lance’s, steadied when Lance dipped his fingers between his.

The vlogs were Coran’s idea. Backed by Lance and Hunk, there was no way for him to…

It went like Allura telling him it was his turn and his first thought’s was _oh, this is so not ending well. There is no fucking way I’m making it through this._

He said, “Okay.”

It was a closet-like room, made especially for logs, apparently. Coran was coming out, happily holding the door open for him. Keith was in his armor because they were on their way back from a rally. He sat down.

And it went about as well as he thought it would.

Worse, if possible.

The second he took out his knife, he knew it was gonna go to shit. He clenched one hand on the table, the other in the air, rubbing his thumb along his index finger to focus on the motion. When his voice cracked, he cut it off. That was the Point Of No Return.

Allura came next and he blew past her, taking advantage of his hair to cover up his face. Did it look weird as fuck and also kind of terrifying? Maybe, definitely, but he was about to go all _crying_ , so he couldn’t find a fuck to give.

That was up until he bumped shoulders with someone and couldn’t exactly hide anything because he looked like a _crazy person_ and it was _Lance_. God, love his luck.

“Keith?”

He managed a weak, “Nope,” before Lance curled a hand on his bicep. Not exactly enough to keep him from continuing, but enough for him to stop.

He rubbed at his face quickly before Lance swiveled to look at him, “Dude, what happened? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Lance,” except his voice cracked on _fine_ and did a weird jig on _Lance_ so, no, total bullshit. Because Lance knew him:

“That’s bullshit.” Lance pursed his mouth, holding on to Keith’s shoulders, “Bud, c’mon.”

Was it weird the thing he said not, like, two minutes ago echoed back at him? Something about _untrusting_. It raised the question; Schrödinger’s Keith: if he opened his mouth, would he tell Lance to fuck off or completely disintegrate?

Make your bets.

“Not—“ He took a shaky breath, “I’m not b-breaking down in the middle of the damn hallway.”

He wasn’t an ugly crier, persay. He was an uncontrollable one, meaning it could be hours later and he’d suddenly start up again. It hurt his throat to be holding it in as it was. He just wanted to get to his room and _cry_ , damn it.

Lance nodded his head, “Our rooms are right there. If you… I could stay with you. Or you could get yourself steady and then come over. Either way, we’re talking this out. I’m a great talker.” He smiled a little bit, on the fine line of encouragement and worry.

 _I’ve noticed_ , Keith thought, _it’s cute_. Said, “Second one.”

Lance kept the arm around his shoulders and it was enough. It was the perfect amount.

The second the doors shut, Keith picked up the nearest object and threw it against the wall. It was his jacket on the hook, not as satisfying as it could have been, but everything else was breakable. The tears came hard, all at once. He almost couldn’t breath with how much his throat hurt.

Everything was hot and there was hair in his mouth and he didn’t even fucking make it to the bed, just collapsed right there on the damn floor. His hands were category three-ing it up, he could barely push himself up.

It wasn’t like—like he was fucked up, though that could’ve definitely been a contender. It was that he was barely nineteen and expected to fucking— to lead this universal alliance. Keith never even wanted the job. He was just figuring out where half of his life came from, the half he knew point _nothing_ to begin with about, and he had to learn how to _delegate_ and _lead._ He finally had the steady thing and it went topside then got flung into an entirely different dimension.

Keith scrambled to his feet, not really sure what the hell to do with his body. There was too much space, he wanted—He needed—

To get out. And go to the room next to his.

Lance was sitting on the bed, unbuckling his chest plate. His eyes flickered up, stuck on how incredibly red and blotchy Keith’s face probably was.

Keith came forward and Lance put his arms around him and that was it. He bundled Keith into his chest, took both his earthquake hands into one of his.

Keith muffled his sobs into Lance’s shoulder, the crook of his neck. Lance’s other hand combed through his hair.

“Keith—“

“I—I—“ He couldn’t _breathe_. “Hold me. P-Please, I—“

They were on their sides. Lance put an arm under him.

“Okay.”

 

“I can’t do this.”

“No. You can’t. But it’s not just _you_ , bud. We’re here. I’m here to help you. I’m your right hand man, right?” He pressed a kiss to Keith’s mucked up forehead, “And eventually you’ll be able to do it. We don’t expect you to know how to do everything right away.”

“I can’t be Shiro. I’m… I barely know who I am,” he didn’t mean for his voice to go all quiet, but it did, and it earned him another peck. “I wanted time for that.”

Lance stroked his back soothingly. His hands hadn’t stopped, but they weren’t… they were in Lance’s. And they were calmer. “You’ll have it, baby. You’ll have it if I have to track down your mom myself.”

“Then who’ll pilot Red?”

“Coran’s still in the running.”

Keith hummed, interrupted by a hiccup. Lance’s amused exhale stirred up his hair. He poked Lance’s side, “Fuck off.”

“Nah. You like me here.”

_Yeah._

He had Lance. He had his team.

Everything was still fucked, of course, but he had his team. His hands still shook but he’d pilot steadily.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm finishing the shitload of projects ive been working on so therell be an Influx of Shitworks. Get Ready.
> 
> dm me a story on my [tumblr](http://mcclainnkogane.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Comments and Kudos are Appreciated! <3


End file.
